I thought of the question while reading your response to guys’ feelings (I am still completely unconvinced they know what those are).
Anyway, my question: do guys flirt with women they do not “like like”? And if so do they know they are doing it and just think whatever, or do they just believe they are being regular and friendly?
Sometimes they even have romantic feelings (“I love you, video games”). It is that they tend to experience and express their feelings differently. Really, the situation isn’t man brains, it is teen love affair at large—the whole matter necessitates having two people who are generally emotional reverses successfully socialize without mistake each other, which is like anticipating a cat and a dog to team up and plan a wedding. The point is, I know you sometimes only want to say “ugh, lads,” but lots of those boys are saying “groan, how do I even girls?” and you both find each other equally frustrating.
But you asked me if ladies flirt with guys they do not enjoy like, and my answer is that both sexes sometimes do, women likely more so (I did not even need to look up a study to affirm this, but here’s one illustrating that men typically flirt to convey sexual interest while women commonly flirt for enjoyment or relationships). As usual, my point in citing a study like this is never to say “WOMEN ARE STUPID, PTHTBH,” but to point out that we are all so perplexing that it is a wonder anybody ever manages to date anybody. The truth that high school guys are so poor at this leads to a variety of misleading circumstances:
Situation 1: Friendliness misunderstood
Guy’s Brain: I enjoy her top.
Guy: I like your shirt.
Woman: When are we getting married??
Situation 2: Flirting aborted
Man’s Brain: I want to kiss her eternally times.
Man: I enjoy your, umm, oh jeez I’m so nervous I forget what they can be called, torso covering?? (blushes, falls down)
Scenario 3: Interest misunderstood
Guy’s Brain: She is really hot.
Man: You are truly hot. Because of how hot you might be we ought to go on a date. It’d be hot.
Woman’s Brain: However, what could this mean??
I believe the things you are asking about drops largely under #1—a man’s just being fine, but he’s a really engaging approach and his friendliness by chance looks flirty. I also can see specific sorts of friendly ribbing coming across as flirty (in this instance, the guy realizes he is saying something which could possibly be considered flirty—blatantly sextacular comments or whatever—but it is meant playfully, not truly). Yet, I am sure there are dudes out there who will say definitely flirty stuff and not want to act on it if given the opportunity.
It is determined by the man. Quiet, shy guys will likely need certainly to work up their courage for two weeks and practice reading flirts off an index card in front of a mirror before ever managing to say anything to you, and when they do, they mean it double-genuinely (a super-shy guy who manages to compliment your top might actually want to marry you). That’s it just. Whatever. They’re just walkin’ around, sayin’ things, no big deal, “you possess an excellent end, fine I’m gonna go play video games.” So if the guy is easygoing and flirts with metric tons of girls, it will not automatically mean anything; if it’s only with you, or if he is not normally the sort to flirt, it means quote a bit.